Harry Potter and My Favorite Quotes - Lessons Learnt from Harry Potter Series!

“A book on a dusty shelf is like a friend you have not spoken to in ages.” I had read long time back. I am not an avid reader, per say. I don’t read like I breathe but I do read never the less. I am more of a re reader… I read same thing over and over again. After some time post finishing a book I find myself yearning to read it once more (Just for old time sake, I tell myself). And owning up to this tradition of mine, I have read and reread and reread and reread yet again the famous series called “Harry Potter”. Not just the books but the movies and the PDFs and the Audio Books and almost every video I could find on YouTube… I have witnessed the Harry Potter Universe virtually. And every time I live it. I know Hogwarts passages and love Hagrid and cry when Dobby dies and feel extremely sad for Snape… Always. It feels so real even though it all happens in my head. But if it’s happening in my head why should it mean it doesn’t exist, right? 

Every time I read or watch it, I find myself learning a lot. Learning about friendship, love, hate, loss, dealing with death and so much more… I have learnt from The Brave Potters and Loving Snape and Naughty Black and even Lestranges… You can bet that they are fiercely Loyal to the Dark Lord!

Moving on, today I am going to enlist some of the quotes that have stayed with me. The ones that motivate me when need be and that bring a smile to my face many a times. So here we go…

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

We all face times when life will bring us down. Every day is not sunny and bright and everything nice. Some nights may be darker and longer. When such days come, it’s important to remember to look for the candles. What I mean is, when you feel low and lost, all you need to do is look for the positive moments. Search your memory closet for the ones that make you happy or give you strength. Look at the trusted ones around you to show you a way. Trust your dreams and aspirations to enlighten your path to your future. Light as many lights as possible. Even one candle can wade off darkness and make you see the world around you.

We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.

No one is born good or bad. We are born with a clean slate and as we grow we scribble on it our experiences, learning and dreams. We build a belief system that’s based on our knowledge and experiences. These experiences are what help us take decisions. This is what forms a basis on every choice we make. And in turn the choices and their outcome make us who we are. It is a cycle! We gather both good and bad as we go. We learn good virtues as well as bad influences… and somehow we have enough space for all of it in our minds and hearts. It is our judgement call and wisdom that helps us to make the choices that need to be made. It is we who chose which part – Good or bad – that we chose to act on. It’s like they show in cartoons… a particular character had a white angel with halo as well as a red horned devil telling them what to do… it’s exactly the same! We have two voices that always keep us company, it’s our belief system that governs which we select to heed.

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.

I have not taken this literally because having enemies is not really something I fancy. I do dislike quite a few people, but they are not worthy to be my enemies. Having said that, it does take a great deal of nerve to stand up for yourself. It’s not easy to voice your opinion at all times, thanks to the courtesy lessons we all get. Imagine a relative telling you how a photo you shared on Instagram is inappropriate… You want to yell at them saying “My business is my business, none of your business” (Dialogues do come in handy at times, don’t they?) Do you do that? If you do, you become the black sheep of the flock. It does take a great deal of nerve to really say things to others. And God forbid, if you have to stand up to a friend, it will be the most energy you will have to spend. Because there is a fear of losing them, isn’t it? Your friends more often than not are the ones who know you the best and hence they also understand what’s good for you. Many times they run around with that idea that they know you better than them and you find yourself constantly justifying. You want to tell them off because you too are wise enough to understand what is good and what is not. You want to remind them that you understand and you know. But somehow you just say “ahaa” and move on. Similarly, even when you know that your friends maybe wrong in their words or actions you don’t really take a stand unless it affects you. It takes a lot of gut to crunch out the truth to the ones you love. You don’t want to hurt them or you don’t want to lose them or why should you bother to correct anyone or keeping quiet is easier than confrontation… all are signs of not wanting to stand up for their own good. Your love and sensibility become bigger than your bravery, don’t they?

I am what I am, an’ I’m not ashamed. Never be ashamed, my ol’ dad used ter say. There’s some who’ll hold it against you, but they’re not worth botherin’ with

This one is not really a famous quote, but it is so relevant to everyone who always tried to fit into the Social Idea of Perfection… You have to be good and well qualified, get a decent job, get married, have a couple of children, buy a house, buy a car, live a healthy life, retire with savings and live in a country home waiting to die a peaceful death… a picture perfect life, isn’t it? And if you stray that path, God alone can save you… maybe not… even God cannot save you if you dare to be different. If you don’t get a conventional job or family trade and decide to do something different with your life, you are an outcast. If you are overweight, no matter how much you have tried to shed off the curves, you are good for nothing. If you don’t get married at the “right age”, you are deemed to have some issues. No one thinks what your thoughts behind your choices are. And if they don’t understand, how is it your fault. Just because your mind is conditioned to think different, why should it make you wrong? Why should you be ashamed for your personality or attitude? Almost everyone you know will question your decisions and maybe abandon you because you don’t walk the path that they do, but remind yourself that it’s their loss. You have all the right to be yourself, pursue your own thoughts and do your own stuff your way. No need explaining anything to anyone. The ones who ask for justification, have made their mind against you and those who didn’t don’t bother what you do. Few may also trust you for who you are.

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic - capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.

They say, “A tongue has no bones, but can break a heart.” Words have immense power. What you say and how you say it can make or break stuff for you. Man has been gifted with language that he uses liberally. And it is also a gift that has helped educated to be civilized and vice a versa. In wrong hands, it’s a weapon that can provoke, hurt or even leave a scar for life. You need to taste your words before you spit them out… you need to think what the implications of the things you say would be. Words you use have the power to build a reputation for you and also the prowess to break the impression you have striven to make. They are powerful enough to help build bridges across distanced hearts and also have the strength to drill a trench between two peas in a pod. Hence, words need to be dealt carefully with. They need to be used resourcefully to bring good to the world. They should be chosen with a hawk’s eye to ensure that they don’t slash anyone across… they should be used for positive imprint!

These are but a few of my go to quotes amongst many others… let me know the ones that appeal to you!

Creating Abhimanyu!

I was brought up with a constant dosage of Ramayana and Mahabharata stories. May it be my maternal grandmother or my paternal grandmother, they fed me all their learnings from the scriptures in the form of epic stories, mythical characters and sometimes anecdotes. And one such tale strikes to me more than others - The Tale of Abhimanyu. Most of us would know it, but for the benefit of what I want to drive I am going to retell it in short. It so happened that while Subhadra, Arjun's wife, was pregnant with a child Lord Krishna was having a conversation with her about warfare. He was explaining to her about the Military formation called The Chakravhyu known to be one of the unbreakable ones when she fell asleep. And yet, he heard "Hmmm" "Hmmm" sound that her unborn child was making signifying that he was listening to the tactics to enter it. When the Lord realized this he stopped at once. Years after this incident, during the War of Mahabharata, Abhimanyu successfully entered the Chakravhyu Formation but did not know how to get out of it, and was killed. So goes the tale of Abhimanyu!

Most of us know Abhimanyu as someone who learnt warfare in his Mother's womb. But how many of us thought it to be true? How many of us thought of Creating Abhimanyu? Of course, I am not referring to the mystical "Hmmm" that Lord Krishna heard from Subhadra's womb or the fact that he learnt Half the Art of Breaking Chakravhyu and then got killed. I am referring to the fact that we as individuals start learning whilst in the mother's womb. Did you, as parents, think that you can actually influence the personality of your unborn child? Did you ever, in your wildest dreams, fathom that you can actually make a positive attitude in the mind of the baby that has not even breathed on his own?

When I came to know that I am going to have a baby, I put myself into a rigorous regime of Healthy Diet, Pre-natal Medicines, Exercise, Resting and questioning every experienced person I know about what should I do to keep the baby healthy. And very often my Mother would say to me, "Stop worrying so much" "Keep a calm mind" "Do things that make you happy" “Talk to the baby” "Your happiness will affect the baby." 

"HOW?" I often wondered... And I didn't see how my mood and the fetus would be connected. And since I was on the mission to be the best mother ever, I did what every first time mother would. I googled! And to my astonishment Dr. Google came back with boat load of research about Pre-natal Psychology and Bonding with The Unborn Child and the Effect of Ante-Natal Bonding and lots more. There is so much to understand and learn as a parent. 

As I spent my time understanding the week by week growth of the baby, I understood the importance of Diet, Folic Acid, Vitamins, Proteins and Minerals on the growth of the baby. I kept myself updated about the tests and scans that we have to go through to monitor the growth and development of the fetus who was now rapidly developing into a baby. And to my astonishment a lot of the neurological circuit was in place even before the actual nervous system was in place. A primitive heart and Brain were in place as early as just a few weeks. Even though the baby could not listen or taste or see, it was still very much alive. Which means it had some superpower to be connected to me drawing everything from nutrition to nurturing form me – his first point of contact! Just at a few weeks, the baby had a heartbeat that would increase with mine when I felt anxious… AMAZING!

It took me a great deal of research to come to terms with the fact that as much as the physical diet and exercise was important, it was also imperative to be mindful about the thoughts, moods and attitude that I carried. Because apparently heartbeat wasn’t the only thing my unborn child would mirror. Once I realized this, my research went up a notch and I started scavenging the internet for more information about Pre-Natal Bonding. The concept that had echoed in the Tale of Abhimanyu was staring at me in the face with loads of research and facts… mythology was backed with scientific proof and suddenly I was alert of every thought I have had since then. I too want a “Healthy and Happy Baby"! So here is my understanding about Pre-natal Bonding!

What is Bonding and Why is it important?

The most relevant meaning of bonding is ‘to join or be joined securely to something else’ or ‘to establish a relationship or link with someone based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences.’

In our reference, it means to establish a connection with the life inside of you. It means to be prepared to welcome a new soul into your world and be able to express your feelings to the unborn being. It means to identify this part of you as an individual with emotions and understanding that cascades from you to it.  

To try and reflect one of the more creative adaptations of the concept “BOND” is

B – Being There

O – Offering yourself to the cause

N – Nurturing and Nourishing

D – Dedication and Determination

Keeping in mind the implication of Parents’ behavior (I say Parents’ because The Father is also as important as the mother) on the baby’s development, the fact that their thoughts and emotions also affect the development even before the baby is born remains a truth. For example, a particular psychology association admits that they get cases of Stress and Depression as early as ‘AT BIRTH’! Where does this stress come from? Many children grow up with a feeling of unwantedness (I just coined the term, but you know what I mean). It is common with the Parents who were planning and did not want a baby or who wanted a girl but had a boy or where the family had a stressful environment throughout the journey of conception to birth. It is a Fact! A rather scary one! And if you search for it, there are many research projects across the world that show us why a positive and happy attitude is so important. And we do have some tools to battle this!

I was in a fix... How can you talk to someone who isn't physically visible? It takes a lot of effort to train yourself to communicate your thoughts, even normally to others around you. Then How can you open your heart and mind to someone you haven't even met? I found that it was really difficult for me because I couldn't even feel the baby yet. How was I to talk to it? 

But I was determined to try and do my best. So here are somethings that I feel we can (try to) do to at least start are

Read Paragraphs or Books that have positive message :

Typically, I have been asked to read Ramayana aloud. Easier said than done, I say! I am not too religious and would not want to read anything religious aloud or not! However, it is a popular belief that Ramayana helps you have a baby like Lord Ram – the Ideal One! That’s what people from the Grandmother’s era believe. This knowledge is backed by a research by a leading university in the modern time. They got a group of pregnant women read a particular passage to the unborn children throughout the gestation. And the children responded to the passage even after they were born. Their expressions changed as they heard the same words. If words can make a difference, why wouldn’t the child imbibe the positive emotions that the mother has when reading it or narrating it. Maybe it forms the base of their early memory.

Cho0se your words wisely : 

Language is one of the things that the baby can learn even as it floats in your amniotic fluid. Research proves that the child learns the language he or she hears in utero much quicker than other languages. It responds to the words most frequently used by the Mother and the Father (after 20 weeks when it can actually listen to them) Hence, if you use a lot of positive and soothing words it develops the base of a positive vocabulary for the baby. An unborn child in a nuclear family typically listens to around 5000 words every day… imagine how many it hears when the mom is working or living with a joint family like in India. It is hence really important to train your tongue to bite itself before it lets out any edgy words!

Your Voice is Music to My ears, Mom :

The very first sound to an unborn child is that of the Mother’s heart and intestine! Then it’s his mother’s voice. MRI and Ultrasound Scans say that the baby cringes when it listens to high pitched voice from the Mother and post 20 weeks, around her as well. So using soothing tone while talking in general is a good idea. In my case, I cannot talk to the baby come what may! I am a talkative tortoise otherwise, but how do you talk to someone you cannot see? The simple way to overcome this challenge came to me as I was listening to this song on my playlist for the last 10 years and I started humming it. It occurred to me that I can sing to the baby whenever I listen to these songs. It has words, it has positive feel and no matter how bad I am at it, it has my voice! That was my first attempt to Bond!

Music helps :

Introducing the baby to music in utero is an excellent idea to help them calm down later. For a developing brain every day is a challenge. And many a times, it will be shadowed by anxieties and worries that you have about innumerable challenges of parenting. At such times soothing tunes and rhythmic beats help. Mozart is the first choice owing to the beats mirroring the mother’s heart beat, the music should not be loud or too heavy. That might make the baby cringe. Personally, I feel having a few lyrics in the preferred language should help more. My nephew would calm down at a few days after birth listening to Vande Mataram – our national song! It was cute… but now I understand why! Verses and mantras are a handy choice too!  Yoga and meditation with light music helps!

Talk food :

When eating describe what you eat. The baby is known to taste the food you eat post 5^th month. Don’t believe me? Well, in a study a group of women were asked to consume carrot juice during pregnancy while others had water as usual. Post birth, the children of carrot juice drinking moms preferred cereal with carrot juice as compared to the children of water drinking mothers. In my mind, food is one of the best ways to introduce the baby to your culture. Describe to it the colour and taste of things you eat. Use the safe spices so that the baby can get used to your palate. I agree that some cannot be a part of your diet, but most foods are nourishing. When you add positive thoughts to the cooking, presentation and eating these foods, they also become nurturing. Help them experience your choices.

Apart from these small things you can also indulge in art and explain the stuff you do. Engage them in every activity you have. I for one listen to and repeat a lot of positive affirmations. I don’t know if it helps him or her, but I enjoy saying good things to myself and in turn to him or her. It’s a calming experience and for someone who cannot sit up in one place for meditation, a few mins following the guided commentary is not a bad idea.

Having said all of this (albeit a long commentary) I have to say that it is not an easy task. But even the awareness about this concept helps to prepare for a wonderful soul who is going to imitate everything you do. It helps train your mind to be calm and patient – qualities needed for the challenges to come. What we do and say, reflects in the baby, even before they are born.

I am no expert in psychology or pre natal workshops or mommyhood, but I really think there is a lot to do to Create My Little Abhimanyu!