The Secret Of A Marriage

Nicholas Sparks, the celebrated writer, has wisely said (or written), “Marriage is about becoming a team. You’re going to spend rest of your life learning about each other, and every now and then, things blow up. But the beauty of marriage is that if you picked the right person and you both love each other, you will always figure out a way to get through it.” So very true!

I am no expert on marriage but it’s not rocket science to know that Marriage, like any other relationship, needs efforts to maintain. It needs to be nurtured and to be given enough time to bloom. I read somewhere that the perfect recipe of marriage has three ingredients -  memories of togetherness, readiness to forgive and more importantly forget mistakes and a promise to never give up on each other even when you don’t like the other person. I say, you have to learn to like then especially when you don’t like the other person.

There will be days when you don’t want to work on your marriage and that’s okay… that doesn’t mean the end of the road… its just a hurdle. Sometimes you find it hard to love each other and that is fine. The easiest thing to do is to give each other time to understand the “WH of things”. Whats that you ask? WHy do I feel the way I do? WHat exactly is the issue? WHere will we find the solution to it? WHen was the last time we were normal? And some other questions that will help you evaluate the situation before you have The Talk… Nut all in all, Marriage is not a miracle that happens once… it is little moments that you create knowingly or unknowingly. It is about falling in love time and again, more often with the same person! 

Here is my attempt to say out loud my thoughts…

The Secret of a Marriage!

"Marriages are made in heaven" they say.
Heavens thus have a huge role to play...

You may or may not believe in The Big Guy Up There,
But trust the guy proposing to you, you dare?

You are expected to listen and understand and care,
And you just question the Love that's already there?

There is Walking a thousand miles with your hands held,
And it takes only a diamond ring for your heart to melt?

You don’t need a fancy buffet to be assured of his vows and your love,

You just need the belief in yourself and the heaven above.

Oh come off it, you have got to Trust and Believe,
Love someone unconditionally before you turn back and leave.

Give away that heart of yours even though it may ache,
You just have to be real even if the World is fake...

What you give away has a way to come back,
Let him fulfill what you sometimes lack...

Open your world and mind and heart,
Live With and For him till death do you part...

That's the true meaning hidden in the Marriage,
For most part of it is a two wheeled Carriage!

None can race faster while the other slows down,

And at the right pace you can reach the destined town.

A lot to give and little to expect,
It’s about care, love, understanding and respect!

Once you learn to live it together in sickness and in health,
You will find a heaven of your own even in a burning hell!

Lessons Learnt :

I don’t know whether marriages are made in heaven. I have my doubts about heaven’s existence, but that’s another story… I have learnt it from observing those around me and my own self that Marriages are like empty boxes. It is not filled with the stuff you desire – intimacy, togetherness, love, friendship and so on. It needs to be filled in before you plan to draw anything out of it. You have to put in efforts and attention and care and respect to get the love and togetherness and other things you expect. There is no love or romance in marriage. It is in the person you chose as a better half. You have to infuse that to yours and that makes it a box full of surprises!